Golden Slumbers
by DOT155
Summary: Summer has never been more confused with her life for the past 6 years. But can something strange make her realize past mistakes and new decisions? ss
1. I'll Try

I tapped my pen on the desk's surface again and again with the slight click of the button. I can't get over my lack of not knowing how to write a story. My boss tells me, this is it, you do this for us, then a promotion is in you future, I promise. As far as I'm concerned, she lies pretty much all the time. It's been two years since I have started my work with Fox Broadcasting and yet I still can't pop out a good storyline. My boyfriend tells me, it's just a phase, but come on…2 years for God sakes.

So here I am, swiveling in my cheap office max chair, tapping my paper mate pen on my on the verge of being plastic desk with nothing to write. The sad part is I graduated fifth in my class for Brown, majoring in such an art as writing and not knowing how to do so when I need to.

"So I said to the guy, we can't get that in yet, you gave it to us yesterday!"

I stared at my co-worker Kirk, a slightly portly guy with a hell of a bad comb over, and couldn't help but think that he is one of God's most pathetic creatures. Everyday I sit in our _lounge room, _complete with a water cooler, a small fridge and a table with plastic chairs that I swear was stolen from a hospital waiting room, and Kirk tells these lame jokes that mean nothing.

No one laughs at these jokes; it's me and three other people in that jail cell of a room. Who's really going to laugh at these jokes? At company parties, Seth always laughs and I will ask him in the car ride home…_why? Why the hell would you do such a thing?_ To understand my boyfriend, you have to realize that he will laugh at virtually anything.

My friend and co-worker Jill turned sideways and looked at me, "_How's that piece coming along?_" I shrugged; I guess I couldn't hide my thoughts very well because all of my friends over the years have always guessed what I was thinking.

"_I…uh…I think Ms. Foster will have my head tomorrow_." I still find it weird how you can say something that can hurt your career, but you can say it with such confidence. I can't help but doubt myself.

She took a bite of her sandwich and chewed while looking at me, her eyes squinting making me wonder what she'll say next. I waited for her to place her sandwich down on her napkin before continuing. "_Hmm_" And that was all she had to say for me to lose interest in her saying anything at all.

But then she cleared her throat. "_Well, I heard they have been planning one of those new teen dramas for the summer…and Foster is looking for a potential writer to pitch an idea_." This caught my attention and I turned completely in my seat to look at her, she was wiping the corners of her mouth with a napkin and didn't seem to share such an enthusiasm as I did at that moment. "_That…that might be what I need, Jill_."

She smiled at me and crumpled up her napkin and put it in the trash by her chair. "_It would be good for any of us, I mean; if I write one more story on how America's children are ruined by myspace I may_" I leaned forward, "_Hurl?_" I leaned back and saw her dark red hair sway as she pondered my input. "_Yeah…hurl. I mean, that's all the stories on the other stations! We can do better, we're Fox!" _I laughed, Ms. Foster always said that when we were at low ratings, she'd be like, "_we can do better then this, we're FOX!" _

I think her only main frustration was the fact that ABC always found a way to steal our concepts for shows and make them better. They always finished first and the real word around the office is that one of her best friends now works at ABC and they haven't spoken in years.

I dropped my keys in a little bowl that we keep in the front hallway and I slowly walked to the kitchen of our small, but cozy Malibu beach house. Seth was sitting on the couch watching the news when I walked in and he turned almost immediately.

"_Hey you look…partied out_." I shrugged and accepted his kiss and hug when he shuffled across the wood floor to get to me. He released me and sat back on the couch with our pit bull mix, Penny Lane who stretched out her legs and acknowledged my presence by wagging her tail. "_Oh yeah, you know, because sitting in a cubicle all day is so much fun_." The sarcasm was almost screaming in my tone of voice. I have definitely been around Seth for too long.

"_Well, if it makes you feel better pumpkin, I didn't start dinner without you…figured you wouldn't want to warm it up_." I laughed out loud, but he looked at me straight in the eyes. "_Or you just wanted me to make it and not yourself_." He put a finger up in protest but then dropped it and smirked. "_I guess you just know me too well, don't you_." I pulled a pitcher of water out of the fridge and looked at him, "_Guess so_."

I got up early that morning. Seth was eating a bagel when I entered the kitchen and was wearing his normal work outfit, a sports coat over a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. This wasn't a surprise because he worked at Electronic Arts, a well known video game company.

"_Want a slice?_" He said with food still in his mouth as he spoke. I shook my head and walked towards the counter to grab an apple. "_I need to run to the office early today, but thanks anyways." _He nodded slowly and stood up to stand in front of me. "_You'll be home earlier then?"_

I felt he always did this, make me feel guilty about the hours I worked. I took my hands and cupped his cheeks. "_I'll try._" With that, I quickly kissed him and grabbed my keys to my Cream Mini Cooper that we shared and left for another day at work.


	2. Pitch?

Hey Guys, I'm posting again to have the story on the same schedule as another board I posted it on. Thank you all for the reviews, they mea so much, really. You have no idea how it bends my day into something more enjoyable. And yes, it will seem slightly confusing, but in the next few chapters...trust me...you will get some explanations. Once again, thanks and review more:) Have a good night.

As soon as I walked through the elevator doors, Jill ran up to my side and walked a little fast, so I tried to keep the pace. "_Uh…Jill, did you drink to much coffee this morning._" She laughed her reddish brown locks swaying with her quick strides. "_Not enough, listen…we're having an emergency meeting about this new show. Ms. Foster is dead serious about this project." _I stopped as soon as the word emergency was used.

"_Wow, she hasn't called for an emergency meeting since ABC came up with dancing with the stars…this must be big._" I was surprised at how nervous I was just thinking about it. If this is what will get me the promotion, then I will do everything in my power to work for it. Jill laughed, "_And then we had to do our skating with the stars show earlier then expected! Now come on, we have a meeting to attend." _We walked off arm and arm to the meeting room that was all glass on one side and I could see all my co-workers waiting in their respective chairs.

When I sat down in my chair, Mary Foster, who was my boss, walked in and took her seat at the end of the long table. She was a very petite woman, 5'3" at the most, but she was full of power and confidence. I wish I could be as strong as she is at 50, but without the part of being so damn scary.

"_Alright people, this is the deal. ABC has their new show, Kyle XY has anyone heard of this?_" My co-worker Norm raised his hand. "_Is that the one with the kid that has no bellybutton Ms. Foster?_" She nodded slowly and looked around the room. "_Yes it is Norm, and its wacky storylines like that which bring in high ratings. I know you must be saying, how the hell does this alien freak get the large audience that it does? It's because every other show is weak. For example, One Tree Hill killed off that man and no one has watched it with the same enthusiasm._"

Kirk was the first to speak up as always, "_So you're saying we should write about something with a wacky storyline?" _Ms. Foster turned to him sharply, "_Not YOUR kind of wacky storylines Kirk…just something that will catch the young audiences."_

"_So I was hoping that by next week, we will have the plot from one of you_." I was listening to Ms. Foster and wrote down everything she said for once. I was sick about writing for the news; I wanted to write about things I knew were fun for girls I used to be like. She told us how she wants it, and now it will be a challenge to see who writes the best pitch. Of course, Kirk will try and pitch his show that he has spent weeks writing and I haven't heard the end to how great it is. It sounds really pathetic, called "The Loop" or something.

Later that night around 7:30 which was early for me, I walked into my home and was surprised to see the table set with candles and the whole deal. Then Seth turned around from the couch and I ran over to him and fell on him in that friendly, high school way. I kissed him hard which caught him by surprise. "_Is this because I set the table? Because if that's the case…I can cook dinner too._" I pulled away and smiled. "_I had a good day is all_." Seth looked at my hands which he had taken in his only moments before and smiled. "_And I thought I was going to get lucky tonight…_" I got up off the couch and pulled him with me. "_If you play your cards right, we'll see._"

We ended up ordering Thai because I didn't want to cook and I figured Seth wouldn't either. The meal reminded me of old days when Marissa and I would go over to have dinner with the Cohen's but things have changed so much that these memories opened up scars and turned them into fresh wounds once again. Speaking of which…

"So _have you talked to Ryan lately?_" Seth looked up to meet my gaze and then nodded his head. "_Yeah just today, he seems to be ok, you know. Swamped with work as usual_." I nodded slowly and thought about my blonde friend, and then Seth spoke up again. "_You know…he went and saw her a few days ago?_" I looked up and smiled, "_That's great, I'm glad he gets around to doing that every so often_."

There was an awkward silence and Seth spoke up once again. "_So how was work that made you so…jumpy?_" I perked up to his question, "_Well, Foster wants us to give her a pitch for a new teen drama._" Seth laughed, "_That's your job right there. Do you think you'll get it_?" This question was bound to come up and I let it sit for a moment, letting me think if I could actually land this job. "_Summer?_" I was pulled from my thoughts to the pair of interested chocolate eyes in front of me. "_I…uh…haven't thought of anything just yet_."

I stood and I grabbed my plate along with my silverware and drinking glass and walked over to dish washer. Carefully I loaded up the machine with my dishes and I felt Seth's presence behind me and I stopped. My eyes focused on the ocean outside, the waves…all of that crap that I used to enjoy once in a while but since I don't have the time to sit down and watch, I haven't appreciated them in a while. Seth stepped next to me and stared out at the same ocean and slipped his hand in mine, and gave it that reassuring squeeze he always gave. He whispered, "_Whatever you write…will be unbelievable_."

I smiled and leaned my head on his shoulder. If things could be that simple, I would've had the promotion a while ago. He kissed my cheek and we headed over to the couch and watched a rerun of Seinfeld, a show that always brought us together at the end of the day. But the thought of coming up with a pitch kept on filtering my mind.


	3. She Always Did

**So thank you guys for the reviews, they were great. I love the feedback...though I would like more. :) But anyways, this is another spot filler. Basically what I'm trying to say is that chapter 4 will be a major chapter...I promise, but this is here to fill with even more confusion. Yay! A writers job to get you readers thinking. So anyways, enjoy:) Feel free to give me your 2 cents on the chapter.**

* * *

"_Stop…stop that_." I could barely open my eyes, but those muffled words with a ticklish edge rang through my ears. I tilted my head so I could see over my sheets and I saw a very sleepy Seth with a very happy Penny Lane. She was licking his face and I was waiting to see if he saw me watching him. "_Penny girl…stop…_" His irritating laugh was now getting to me and I had to put an end to it. "_Seth…_" He didn't hear me, so I had no choice but to whip out the big guns. "_SETH_!" 

It seemed to have done the trick because he fell off the bed with a loud thump. "_Holy sh.it Summer! You didn't have to do that!_" I laughed, but with a classic Summer Roberts edge to my voice. "_Oh yes I did, wanna know why? Because I hate waking up to your annoying a.ss laugh every Saturday morning!_" I stared him down for a few seconds until he jumped to his feet. "_I'm going to uh…go make breakfast_." Victory, as always.

I joined Seth in the kitchen and watched as Penny tried to wiggle her nose above the counter to see what Seth was making. As long as it involved food, she was interested. "_So are you going to call the dog sitter?_" Seth turned to me and had a weird look on his face. "_I am NOT leaving her with that which again. We'll just take her with us…_" Sometimes Seth may not always be on my side, but when it comes to our three year old pooch, he always takes hers. I laughed and looked at him seriously. "_You want to take her to Newport, at least an hour drive…with the dog…in the mini? And I'm talking without traffic._"

Seth looked up to the ceiling as if he was _really _considering what I was saying and looked back at me. "_So?_" I shook my head. "_Fine, but it's off of your paycheck when she ruins that leather._" Seth clamped his hands together and shook them like a triumphant idiot. Then he bowed before me and kissed my hand. "_Thank you me lady. My Lord will never forget your kindness._" I shook my head and started to walk away. "_I'm going to take a shower, but if you ever want to go to that restaurant Medieval Times again…you can forget about it._" I smirked and watched his face fall. He called out to me as I climbed the stairs. "_You know you love your white knights charm!_"

* * *

"_Ready to go?_" I turned to Seth and I looked at Penny stretched across the backseat of the car. Poor thing barely fit back there. "_Yeah, I guess_." Seth turned to me and lowered his eyebrow, basically trying to read my expressions. "_Are you ok_ _Sum?_" I sighed. Every other weekend, we go visit Newport. After I packed up for college I had no desire to move back there. That's why Seth and I live in Malibu, it was similar to Newport, but it wasn't Newport. It's hard to explain. 

"_Yeah Seth, can't wait to see your parents._" I put on a real smile this time. I always loved to see the Cohen's. "_Yep, let's haul ass then_." I smiled and leaned back in my seat thinking about everyone I was going to visit. Ryan would be nice to see if he could clear up his hectic schedule. He works at this place that is like, the_ new _Newport Group, but it's called Newport Architecture. I hated the name when I heard it, but I figured Ryan could care less about the name, as long as he could hold the job this time around.

The traffic was light. Probably some people going to work, others running to the store to buy some milk. But it was better then rush hour traffic here, that was for sure. I was listening to the soft music of one of Seth's mixes. The song was "Tech Love" by Her Space Holiday and it put me at ease…and to sleep.

* * *

"_Stand back son, I'll wake her up_." I heard familiar voice, but it was faint. "_No Pop's…I wouldn't do that…_" "_It's fine! I'm just going to tap on the glass_." A few moments later I heard a knocking noise. "_What?_" I quickly opened my eyes and saw Sandy standing on the outside of the car. I was still in the car? Sleeping? I moved the seat in front of me forward and got out, taking notice of Sandy chuckling. He looked over at me. "_Did I wake ya?_" This always makes me laugh, when he pulls pranks on all of us. "_I was just taking a nap Mr. C_." Sandy laughed. "_I thought you were avoiding me!_" Seth popped in. "_Like I do_." 

Sandy looked over at Seth and eyed him. "_I…uh…I…was just kidding…_" We all laughed and Sandy turned to me and took me in a big friendly hug, or as he always calls it a bear hug. "_Don't worry Summer, I was kidding too. Now while you were out cold, we brought your bags in the house_." I turned to him and shook my head. "_You make it sound like I was sleeping forever!_" Seth shrugged. "_I'd say an half an hour_." Wow, that does seem like a really long time, I'll give them that. Seth and I followed Sandy into the house and straight to the kitchen where Kirsten was waiting.

Sandy put his hand on my shoulder and spoke up. "_Look Hun, Sleeping Beauty's up._" Everyone laughed and Kirsten took me in a motherly hug. "_How are you sweetie?_" I smiled at the woman who has been more of a Mother to me then anyone else. "_I'm great._" Sandy walked to the fridge and pulled out some wrapped up deli meat and put them down on the counter beside a basket of rolls. "_Now for lunch, we can make sandwiches. Is that ok?_" Seth rubbed his palms together in what looked like excitement, but it really had an evil look to it. "_Sounds good to me_!"

We all sat at the table enjoying being around one another. In the corner of my eye, I would see Seth sneak Penny some ham every now and then. "_So how's work son?_" Seth looked up from his sandwich and put a finger up to tell us he was still chewing. Once he swallowed, he continued. "_Well, you know. It's the same old stuff. A new version of a sports game…another Sims, never changes really_." Kirsten looked at him sincerely. "_Well, are you sure…" _Bam, and there it was. Sandy did his usual and interrupted Kirsten.

"_Want my advice? Quit_." Both Kirsten and I turned to him and gave him that look. Seth made an uncomfortable laugh that he makes when he's under pressure. "_Uh…I can't just quit my job Dad._" Sandy nodded, because we both knew, he's tried this before. "_I know that, I just get the feeling it's not what you want_." Seth laughed and shook his head. Kirsten was gathering everyone's plates and tried to stay out of it obviously, which left me there, sitting awkwardly. "_I don't really have the choice. I need to support myself…_"

Sandy was about to speak up again when Kirsten joined us again at the table. "_So do you guys have any plans for today? Ryan promised he would come over tonight for dinner._" Seth turned to Sandy and laughed. "_Do you think he will show up this time?_" I shook my head, not finding his joke funny at all. Ryan has been through a lot these past few years, and he really does try do make something of himself. I spoke up. "_I was thinking of stopping by…the uh…_"

Kirsten grabbed my hand and smiled. I bit my lip and nodded. "_And yeah…I…that's it_." She knew; she always did.


	4. Counting On You

I cleared my throat waiting for one of the nurses behind the front desk to notice me. I had just walked in from the parking lot, where I had been sitting in my car for a very long time, only to realize I can't hide from this every weekend. It was one of those situations, you don't want to remember it…but you can _never_ forget it. The woman looked up from typing with her long, fake plastic nails and acknowledged my presence. "_May I help you Miss?_" I fiddled with the strap of my purse that was on the counter, and looked up to the woman. "_Can you tell me the room of…uhm…Marissa Cooper?_" The nurse nodded and rolled her chair to another part of the counter, running her finger carefully over a list of names. "_She's in room 207, in the Coma Rehabilitation Wing_." "_Thank you."_ I said and slid my purse on my shoulder, walking down the hall, reading each sign.

I had remembered that the Coma Rehabilitation Wing was recently added due to all the donations toward Marissa's condition. Her Mother was a mess, disturbed that there wasn't a proper facility to care for Marissa's condition here in Newport Memorial. So in the end, many fundraisers later, the wing was built. I walked down another hallway and saw 207. At that moment…I wished I was still in my car, waiting for something else to occur. I did this every other weekend because I was scared, scared of every time I come, another week longer that she is in her sleep. One week from today…will be seven years.

I built up the courage to open the door and slipped inside before I could change my mind. There she was. My best friend since kindergarten…was pretty much in the same position as she was the last time. Her chest slowly rose with each special breath she took, and it was amazing to me how I will never take another one of my own breaths for granted. By her bed, there was a little table that had old get well cards and a vase with 2 roses in it, one fairly new and the other wilted. There was a plastic chair by her bed and I sat slowly, still taking in every detail that I saw. Something inside of me made me reach for her hand and I did, feeling her smooth skin in mine, just as before.

I remember the Doctors telling me that year, to talk to her because it helped. But if it helped anyone, it was me. It helped me cope that I had no best friend. Helped me cope with the fact that the Cohen's home was never going to be the same without her presence. And the worst of all, helping me cope with the sight of a very important blond, blue eyed man in her life, struggle with his own. He had to go to countless therapy sessions, and ended up digging himself with work to take his mind off anything. Seth and I tried to help him at his lowest points, but Ryan being stubborn never wanted to admit he had a serious issue.

She still had a beautiful face. If she was awake, I would give her "props" on how she's rocking the hospital gown look. I broke the silence, which seemed like me and my self, only she was there too. "_We miss you so, so much Coop_." I bit my lip and stared at her face. "_I don't know how I do this without you. How I manage life has become so hard._" I choked up a little, only hearing the beep of her machine every few seconds. At least I knew she could hear me in some weird off way, right? "_And…and I think Seth and I are growing apart. We havn't been able to be ourselves since I've started my job. I also feel that Ryan is drifting farther from us too. One day, he may just disappear_."

Fresh tears trickled down my cheeks, and I swallowed to gather up my courage. "_You gotta wake up Coop_-" I was interrupted by a nurse who opened the door, a clip board in hand. "_I'm sorry Miss, but visiting hours are over_." I nodded and looked back at Marissa one last time, stroking my thumb over her class ring. "_We're all counting on you_." I whispered. As I walked by the nurse, I couldn't help but ask. "_Do you know who brings those flowers by?"_ She looked as though she was thinking deeply and nodded with a smile. "_Yes, a very sweet young man does every few days_." I nodded, because that's all I needed to hear.And I left, but not feeling empty like how I had walked in, but with a new found faith, that something's may happen for a reason, we just have to keep our chins up to see what exactly they are.


	5. Dream On

When I got back to the Cohen's, I had to walk all the way through the house to find anyone. When I got to the kitchen, I saw Sandy and Seth outside, throwing a tennis ball for Penny Lane. I leaned against the counter watching the men laugh as Penny would sometimes jump in the pool, splashing them both. A warm presence filled me with a distinct comfort and I turned to see that Kirsten had joined me, leaning against the granite countertop. The silence wasn't an unbearable kind. It was the kind where I, and I'm sure Kirsten as well, anticipated what the other would say.

"_How was your visit?_" And there it was. Kirsten spoke with words, tugging at my mind for an answer. "_It was nice…_" I noticed Kirsten nodding in the corner of my eye, still looking outside as I was. There were so many things on my mind these days. Questions I wanted answers to, situations I wanted the power to deal with. To tell you the truth, I can't handle this anymore. I turned slowly to Kirsten and she turned to me, with a soft smile curling her lips. "_What…do you think it will be like…if this never happened?_"

I looked down, a little embarrassed with my question. Seriously, it sounded like I was a 5 year old asking where babies come from. Kirsten sighed, and kept her sweet smile on, probably for the sake of my sensitivity to the subject. "_Well sweetie, I don't know. I guess, Ryan would be happier then he is now…hell, maybe all off us would be a little happier_." She finished and looked back out to the backyard. I can't help but wonder, would I still be this confused about my life if nothing ever happened to Marissa? If she was ok, would I still be unsure of my relationship with Seth?

Our thoughts were soon interrupted by a slight slam of the front door. The footsteps were loud, made in quick and heavy thumps. Both Kirsten and I turned to see Ryan walk into the kitchen, dropping his keys on the counter and his briefcase by the table. He ran his hand through his hair and finally looked up. "_Oh, hey_." I smirked. "_We were actually making a bet on how long it would take you to notice us_." He grunted. "_Very funny Summer, good to see you haven't lost your humor these days_."

I walked over to him and gave him a hug. When I let go, I saw Seth and Sandy come it and smile at Ryan's presence. "_Dude, you came!_" Seth said, giving Ryan one of those manly handshakes/hugs. Whatever guys do, it's what they did. "_Sorry I'm late_." Ryan said with a sigh. Seth crossed his arms, looking interested in Ryan's tone of voice. "_So works been sucking, eh?_" Ryan nodded. Sandy put his arms up in defeat. "Good to know both of my sons hate their jobs." Ryan looked over to Seth quick, squinting his eyes. "You don't like your job?"

Here we go again. "I _want to do my own thing, you know?_" God, yes, he only mentions this every month. "_I have a convention to go speak at next Saturday that I really don't want to do. And it's not because I'm nervous, it's because I hate the game I'm promoting._" Sandy shrugged. "_Suck it up son, unless…you're going to quit_." Kirsten put one hand on her hip and stared at Sandy, which made him raise his eyebrows like he always did. "_Hun, I don't say that stuff just to make you squirm. I want him to like what he's doing_." Ryan looked up, the rings around his eyes I could see now; his face was covered in stubble. He was never the type to grow a beard, but he also had a buzz cut, and we never thought he would do that either. "_Guys, who cares_." And it was that simple, all he had to do was say three words, give a look, and bam, we were ready to eat dinner.

* * *

After dinner, we all sat outside drinking some coffee Sandy had made quickly. I had Seth's jacket around me because my arms were sensitive to the slight breeze in the air. We had caught up on what everyone has been doing this past week. I told them about my job as did Ryan and Seth. We talked about college stories, one of how I was locked out of my sorority house in the pouring rain, coming back from a fraternity's "Roman Orgy" party. Kirsten was laughing with tears creeping from the corner of her eyes. "_Let me get this straight…they locked you out of the house…in the pouring rain…and you were in a toga?_" Again, she laughed and tried to cover her mouth to control it. I slapped my palm against my knee and laughed. "_They did it on purpose!_" Sandy shook his head, and Seth was trying to swallow his coffee without spiting it out all over the place.

Ryan spoke up and smiled. "_Wrong night to where a toga_." I nodded and spoke. "_Well, they caught me off guard, that's for sure_." Silence came again and we all relaxed. I looked across the table at Seth and I caught his eye, but broke the glance. It felt almost wrong to look over at him. We have been drifting apart with our jobs and two years ago, we ran into other issues. I was pregnant. That's right, pregnant. But there were some complications…and I lost the baby two and a half months along. We don't talk about it, but no one else knows but us. I remember thinking after it happened…nothing really goes right for anymore.

"_Well._" We all looked over to Ryan standing and giving a brief look at his watch. "_I better get going_." Sandy stood up and put an arm around him. "_Aw, so soon kid?_" It was true; it was only eight o'clock…barely. We could usually spend hours talking. That was just how the Cohen family was. "_Yeah, I have to look over a property tomorrow morning with this new developer we've hired_." Sandy hugged him and stood back. "_Ok then_." And Seth and I gave Ryan a quick hug. When I pulled away, I caught Ryan's eye, but he looked away, over to Kirsten. Something wasn't right, but this wasn't the time to ask him.

* * *

Later that night, I curled up on Seth's old bed after reading the People Magazine and closed me eyes. I could hear the shower turn off in the hallway bathroom and Seth came in a few minutes later with a towel wrapped around his waist. He sat on the edge of his bed and took another towel to his hair, giving it rough scrubs to get rid of the dampness. "_Do you think Ryan was ok tonight?_" He shrugged, still drying his hair. "_What do you mean?_" I sighed, of course he wouldn't understand. "_He seemed a little distant when he left._" Seth threw the towel over by his door and picked up his boxers, sliding them on under his towel. I have to say it kind of hurt me…that we can't be as open as we used to. I mean, we acted this way only in Newport, but in Malibu, we were very close. It's hard to explain.

"_I think he's ok…_" I nodded and layed back down, my back to him, not to be rude, just because I have grown accustomed to sleeping that way. "_I mean, if you think…_" I interrupted him and waved my hand in the air. "_It's nothing; I guess it's just me_." I closed my eyes and felt Seth scoot closer to me under the covers but never actually bringing his body to touch mine. After that…I fell into a deep dream…


	6. Holy Crap!

I read all my reviews the other day and the sparked the passion of writing I used to get when the O.C. was once the best show to watch. I mean, when I watched it, it gave me the desire to write these chapters...and the dissapointment from the 4th season has frankly bummed me out. But reading these reviews, if anyone is still willing to give this story another shot, please do because I need to finish it the way I had planned! Please, read and review.

* * *

"_Sum…_" I heard someone calling my name. I couldn't place the voice, for it belonged to a young…female. My eyes shot open to see a pink room…a very familiar pink room. I leaned forward and looked around at the bed which was white and had pink sheets and stuffed animals all over the place. But something on the dresser caught my eye. A plastic pink horse. It was at that moment that I realized the room was my own. Not my room that I currently share with Seth, but my room from high school in my old home.

Holy crap, this can't be happening. I know this is a dream because I just fell asleep just a second ago. I tried to pinch myself but it didn't work. Please note, if you ever try to pinch yourself in a dream it won't work probably because you have to be your "physical self." Oh my God, I'm starting to sound like my philosophy teacher from Harbor. Another note…never take philosophy! "_Summer, lets go!_" Again, the soft voice of a young woman called out for me, coming from my bathroom. I walked closer, curious to see if I thought it was who I wanted it to be.

I turned the corner and saw brown haired girl putting on make up in front of the mirror. I stood, shocked, and some what afraid. She turned to me swiftly, her grey blue eyes looking at me in that perky way they always did and put her hand on her hip raising her eye. "…_Coop?_" She shook her head and laughed. "_I was wondering when you were going to wake up!_" I started to cry, I was so shaken up, and meanwhile it was in a dream. I'm such a loser. "_Me too Coop!_" I pulled her in a tight embrace and for a dream, it felt pretty damn real.

She pulled away and laughed again. At this point, I wouldn't mind the whole dream would be having her just laugh and talk for I would savor it either way. "_What has gotten into you?_" This was so weird, but I have no choice but to play along. I really have no idea of what year it is or what she wanted me to wake up for so bad. "_Um, so where are we going again?_" She turned away from the mirror again and looked at me, this time being more serious. "_To Holly's party, remember?_" Let's see, we were only friends with Holly up until sophomore year, so this must be that summer. "_Oh yeah_…" Marissa dropped her lip-gloss on the counter and grabbed my shoulders. "_Sum, we were just at the fashion show and we came here to change in our bikinis?_"

And then it clicked. I was at the beginning of _everything_. When Ryan first came, when Seth and I _really_ met, and when Marissa's problems just started to reach their peak. "_Oh, my bad_." She smirked and grabbed one of my favorite bikinis I ever had, off a hook. I wish I could take it back to reality with me. "_Here, put this on, and we'll go_."

In Marissa's old silver Jeep Cherokee, I kept stealing glances at her while she drove. I can't really help it. This dream is so real and I can't get over the feelings you can receive from just a dream. It was all so overwhelming. I mean, I even looked at myself in the mirror above my seat and was shocked to see how young I was! Now as a 24 year old, I had more lines on my face then a piece college ruled paper. But that's just me being that fake, insecure, teenage girl every woman still has deep inside of them.

* * *

Music was blasting so loud that I was surprised no windows shattered. I could have sworn when Marissa and I walked up to the front door, I saw some guy, extremely plastered, fall into a bush by the mailbox. Man, I can't believe I used to come to these parties. When we walked through the door, the scene in front of me was how I remembered. People in the corner doing coke, people in the kitchen blending margaritas and if not that, then they probably had _no_ idea what they were blending. Everyone else were grinding against one another in the living room, but I had no time to look for anyone because I was pulled away quickly.

Whoever it was had grabbed my elbow and as I pulled it away from their grasp, I looked sharply over my right shoulder. It was Holly. The weird thing is to look at her in this dream as a 15 year old and I know that she ended up moving to Colorado to marry a professional down hill skier. I know what your thinking, why didn't she stay with the beach scene? Well, who the hell knows!

"_Summer, we waited for you guys for like, ever!_" There it is, _like. _Boy was I a victim of that awesomely annoying girl slang. When I became a writer, I learned that you can't exactly use _like_ just for the hell of it. A sarcastic laugh left my mouth. "_Yeah, well, I can see you were just fine starting without us._" Holly smiled and drank out of her red cup. Of course, she didn't catch my sarcasm because…well…it was Holly.

At this point, all I wanted was a good, strong drink. I walked over to the "bar" a.k.a., a table with bottles and bottles of vodka. There I saw Marissa pouring _something_ in her _mixture_, trying to pull her purse strap back on her shoulder once she poured the bottle. I saw her suddenly tense up and I followed her gaze to none other then Ryan Atwood. He was all dressed up, with his tie loosened and his hair ruffled. I laughed at the fact that we were ever this young. Being my "teenage" self, I nudged Marissa in the side with my elbow and raised my eyebrow. "_Well, go get 'em!_" I whispered just for her to hear. She looked at me surprised and then leaned in to whisper in a reply. "_But I though you liked him?_"

I almost spit out my drink, no lie. "_Oh Coop, trust me…my type is more of the Seth Cohen type_." I laughed and took a sip of my mixture. But over the top of my cup, Marissa's jaw was dropped and her expression seemed a cross between confused and shocked. Crap, I forgot this was way before Seth and I even talked. "_Did I say Seth Cohen? I meant_…" I left, I just walked away. There was no way I could talk myself out of that one…ever. At least, as far as this dream goes.

* * *

Later on that night, after I turned guy after guy down who offered to bump and grind with me, I walked outside to get fresh air. When I finally made my way past the groups of kids, I was on the porch overlooking the beach. There was a campfire that a few water polo players I recognized were standing around, but other then that, the beach was pretty blah. There was something next to me, making an obnoxious noise and of course when you hear something out of the ordinary you have to look.

But when I did, I regretted it. Seth Cohen. He was on his knees on the ground, his shoulders slouched and was fiddling with the nearby keg. I bent over, looking around first to see if anyone saw this unbelievable site of a young Seth, but again, it was just a dream. A few stray hairs fell into my face and I pushed them behind my ear. Seth finally said what he was mumbling, louder. "There we go. It's fixed…just a little…tug…on that thing and there you have it…" He put his hand on his knee to push himself from the ground and turned but was so shocked to see me that he fell backwards. "Cohen!" I gasped as he hit his head on the keg. I ran to his side and put my hand in his.

"Summer _Roberts? Is it really your hand on my hand right now?_" He mumbled it, but I have been around him for so long that it's another language that I've picked up. "_Are you ok?"_ His eyes rolled back and he closed them tightly, mumbling yet another few words. "_Thank you Jesus…Moses, your teamwork is highly appreciated_." I laughed and helped him sit up while some people who walked by caught my glance, sending confused looks right and left.

He stood up and I did as well and I looked up at him as he dried off his pant leg. "_I'll see you later?_" He smiled hesitaiting slightly, and looked down at his feet like an insecure little girl would. "_Yeah, that would be cool. I mean, if you're up for that? Would that be ok? Because we could go sailing or like, go get comics and yeah…_" I smiled, he really was _adorkable_. "I would love that."

* * *

About two boring hours later, I searched the house for Marissa. It was impossible to find this girl, even though you would think her being so tall would change that. Some people were filing out the door, looking too trashed to drive. I started getting nervous, thinking on to all the nights I was on duty to drive Marissa home. She really never had any control with what she drank, she drank alcohol like a 4 year old watches Blues Clues…consistently and obsessed. I saw Holly speed to the kitchen and grab her car keys, giving me a frustrated look.

"_Ugh, I have to drive Marissa home again, do you want to come?_" I realized this must have been one of those nights, Holly's turn. "_Yeah_." Following Holly out to the car and getting in, I saw Marissa's practically lifeless body sprawled out on the backseat. This image was not new to me, but these days, she looks better then she does in a hospital bed. We drove to the infamous cul-de-sac and pulled in the Cooper's driveway. Holly stepped out and opened the back door which Marissa's upper body was facing. "_Well…you at least…help me…or something_." She said, slightly slurring when saying something. Making my way to the open door, I helped ease Marissa out and set her gently on the ground.

After doing this, Holly sorted through Marissa's purse, not finding any house key. She giggled and looked at me with glazed eyes only those few drunks give. "_Let's just leave her here_…" Glancing back at my friend, I realized I was once a horrible friend. Had I once really left her in her parent's driveway for them to find her when they walked out to get their paper or walk the dog? She had never mentioned it to me, which makes me think she always held it against me. Sighing, I looked up as if the stars were a guide to a map I could not see. Instead, I saw a shadow from beyond the fence and that's when I knew…Marissa probably wasn't sitting in this driveway all night.

"_Hey Holly, you can go, and I can check the back door_." I said, looking at her as she raised herself off the ground, trying to balance at the same time. "Really Sum? You're such a good friend." She got in her car and pealed out. Some friend _she_ was. Looking back up to the fence that spit the two properties, I spoke gesturing my hand in a signal. "_You know, I would really appreciate it if you could help me_." Silence. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe no one saved Marissa that night. I'm going crazy, aren't I? Then all of a sudden, foot steps neared and I looked up to see Ryan kneeling down and scooping up Coop in his arms. It was straight out of The Valley to me.

* * *

He hadn't spoken a word, just tucked her in his bed as I leaned against the doorframe, amused. It tugged at my heart, knowing they really were in love. Looking at the old Ryan and the new Ryan freaked me out because they were so different, and yet the same person. Walking towards me at a slow, Ryan pace, he looked at me in the eyes. "_She's ok now…you can go if you want_." I smiled at his politeness, but shook my head. "_Actually, I was wondering if I could stay with her for a while if you don't mind."__

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Reviews would be awesome guys, thanks for reading if you have. :) - DOT


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